You have an important role to play.
What can you do to support an immigrant or refugee woman who you think is being abused?
- Don’t ignore violence or abuse
- Talk to her privately about what you see and express your care and concern
- Emphasize that you know it is not her fault, and encourage her to seek help before making decisions
- Talk about safety with her
- If she has children, offer to help with childcare
- If you can, offer your home as a safe place – whether to stay or to store her important items or a small bag
- Provide information about existing services to help her decide what is best for her
- Offer to make phone calls to support organizations such as the Assaulted Women’s Helpline (1 866 863 0511 / TTY 1 866 863 7868) to get information if she does not have easy access to a telephone
If you speak to her and she denies the abuse, do not get upset with her – she may not be comfortable disclosing this information to you, especially if you are from the same community. Just be sure to tell her that you are available if she wants to talk another time. You can let her know you are concerned about her (and her children, if she has).
What can you do to support an immigrant or refugee woman who discloses to you that she is being abused?
- Listen without judgement: this could be the first time she has been able to share
- Emphasize that you know it is not her fault
- Support her with safety planning
- If she has children, offer to help with childcare
- If you can, offer your home as a safe place – whether to stay or to store her important items or a small bag
- Offer to make phone calls to support organizations such as the Assaulted Women’s Helpline to get information if she does not have easy access to a telephone
- Mutually decide on a code word that your friend can use with you in case of an emergency when you may have to call the police on her behalf.
If you are trying to support an immigrant or refugee woman who is experiencing violence by offering your home, it is important to remember:
- Think about safety – hers, her children’s, and yours – and assess whether it is safest for you to host for a short time, a longer period of time or just for a night. If the person abusing her knows you and where you live, that could be a dangerous situation
- Being in a different or new space may be difficult for her – she may experience panic attacks or flashbacks – and if you are understanding around the adjustment and offer your support, it could ease the transition
- Maintaining her confidentiality and safety is so important – so don’t disclose information about her situation or the fact that you are hosting her to others unless she gives you permission to do so
What can you do if someone you know is abusing an immigrant or refugee woman?
- If it’s safe for you to do so, you can approach the person when they are calm
- Speak clearly about what you are noticing and concerned about
- Try not to be judgemental, instead encourage them to consider their behaviour as something to get support with and change
- Do NOT argue or get confrontational – this may increase the risk of her being harmed State clearly that the behaviour needs to change
- If you feel that her safety is seriously at risk, call the police
If you speak with someone you believe (or know) is abusing someone and the abuse is denied, recognize that this is a common reaction. In your conversation, the woman may be blamed for the abuse. Remember to stick to your concerns and the safety of the woman. You can share that you are available if they want to speak another time, and that you would be able to help find support or resources to change and stop the abusive behaviour.