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Am I Being Abused?

As an immigrant or refugee woman, you deserve to live free from violence or abuse. You could be experiencing one of more of the forms of violence: sexual, emotional or psychological, financial or economic, physical, forced marriage, neglect, verbal, spiritual, harassment, or others.

What are the Signs of an Abusive Relationship?

Are you unsure about whether you are living with violence and abuse? You may want to read about violence against women, the types of violence and the warning signs of domestic violence and signs of high risk to see if it fits your experience. You also may want to ask yourself the following questions.

Does your partner...

  • Watch and track what you're doing all the time? Does he get other family or community members to help him watch you?
  • Accuse you of cheating on him?
  • Try to stop you from seeing your friends or family?
  • Try to stop you from getting a job or going to school?
  • Get very angry at you?
  • Get very angry when he drinks alcohol or uses drugs?
  • Control how you spend money, take your money, or stop you from having money?
  • Control your use of medicine?
  • Control all of the papers that are important to you, like your immigration/refugee papers and health card?
  • Say he will withdraw sponsorship from you or have you deported?
  • Decide everything for you, like what to wear or what to eat?
  • Humiliate you in front of other people?
  • Break your things, or break things that you care about?
  • Say that he will hurt you, hurt your children, or hurt your pets?
  • Hit, slap, beat, push, pinch, shove, punch, kick, burn, or bite you or pull your hair?
  • Hurt your children?
  • Lock you in the home or a room and not let you leave?
  • Say that that he will use a knife or gun against you?
  • Show you a knife or gun?
  • Use a knife or gun against you?
  • Force you to have sex when you don’t want to?
  • Control your birth control or say that you have to get pregnant or have an abortion?
  • Say it is your fault if he gets angry or hurts you?
  • Say he will hurt himself or kill himself when he is upset with you?
  • Say things like, "If I can't have you then no one can."
  • Do you feel like the fights are getting worse and you are more scared?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be living with abuse. Find support here.

More Dangerous Situations

Some situations of abuse may be more dangerous. Here are warning signs of more dangerous situations.

  • If the person abusing you has access to weapons, has a history of abuse, or has threatened to harm or kill you, the children or pets, that could be dangerous.
  • If you are afraid for your life, are in involved in another relationship or have no access to a phone or computer, that could be dangerous.
  • If the person abusing you takes drugs or drinks every day, is in a custody battle with you, or is going through major life changes (like depression or job loss), that could be dangerous.
  • If you are being watched, your conversations are listened to, and your email is read, that could be dangerous.

For a full list of the Warning Signs of High Risk, click here.

More dangerous situations

Some situations may be more dangerous, and can make the warning signs even more important.

  • If the person abusing you has access to weapons, has a history of abuse, or has threatened to harm or kill you, the children or pets, that could be dangerous.
  • If you are afraid for your life, are in involved in another relationship or have no access to a phone or computer, that could be dangerous.
  • If the person abusing you takes drugs or drinks every day, is in a custody battle with you, or is going through major life changes (like depression or job loss), that could be dangerous.
  • If you are being watched, your conversations are listened to, and your email is read, that could be dangerous.

If You Need Help Right Now

In an emergency, call 9-1-1. Even if you can’t talk, if you leave the phone off the hook, the police will come.

In a crisis, call the Assaulted Women’s Helpline at 1-866-863-0511 / TTY: 1-866-863-7868.

To find a shelter in your area of Ontario, click here.

To find a Sexual Assault/Domestic Violence Treatment Centre in your area of Ontario, click here.

To find a Sexual Assault/Rape Crisis Centre in your area of Ontario, click here.

For information or referrals, contact the Victim Support Line at 1-888-579-2888 or see the Victim Services Directory.

To find options about legal support, call Legal Aid at 1-800-668-8258. 

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